One even advises watching hemlines on womens’ skirts. When the hemlines fall, times are tough. But when hemlines rise to the level of a mini-skirt, it’s supposed to be a rock ‘n roll period for good economic times.

Now, eight plastic surgeons at the world famous Cleveland Clinic in Ohio have discovered an apparent connection between certain cosmetic procedures and some U.S. stock market indices, like the famous NASDAQ.

The authors got on this track because they noticed certain reconstructive and cosmetic plastic surgery procedures are done either more or less as conditions change in the stock market and in the U.S. economy.

To establish their theory, the surgeons looked at 8,205 cosmetic procedures performed on 7,360 patients from January, 1992 to October, 2008.

(Note: we are not making this up! Read more about plastic surgery and the stock market.)

But here’s the lowdown in case you want a handy new guide to investing:

The surgeons studied the volume of four cosmetic surgery procedures:

• Forehead lift
• Face Lift
• Breast Augmentation
• Liposuction

Probably because people can live O.K. without those procedures, the surgeons then compared the volume of three, more medically necessary plastic surgery reconstructive procedures which were:

• Breast reduction
• Breast reconstruction
• Carpel tunnel release

Results?  Face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation “demonstrate a direct (positive) statistical correlation to all three stock market indices  –NASDAQ, S&P 500, Dow-Jones”.

They also found that breast reduction and breast reconstruction show a direct correlation to two of the three major indices.

But here’s the key to making a financial killing:  “Carpel tunnel release procedures show an inverse relationship to all three indices.”

The authors did the study to remind surgeons to offer procedures that insure survival during hard times, but hey, what more could any investor want?

Before buying stocks, just contact the major plastic surgery organizations and check on how many forehead and face lifts, breast augmentations and liposuctions are being done. If those numbers are up, pick your stocks!

Then, just to make sure your investment is sound, check again and make sure the numbers of carpel tunnel release operations are down.

If the numbers are right, invest away! It’s got to be better than watching hemlines!

The Women Healthy Blog

Read more about coping with bad plastic surgery but don’t be alarmed by all the disastrous results. Provided you have wisely chosen a plastic surgeon, most unsatisfactory cosmetic surgery just leaves the patient wanting better results, not threatening a life.

Nationwide, about 15 percent of plastic surgery requires some touch up, additional nips or even a surgical revision. So in your first meeting, discuss the procedure if surgery is not pleasing.

If you are unhappy for some reason, make another appointment with your surgeon and explain the source of your dissatisfaction. He or she will be glad to spend extra time with you because most of any surgeon’s new patients come from referrals from happy patients.

In the profession, cosmetic plastic surgeons know that one happy patient will bring in three more. But one disgruntled patient will drive away ten interested patients.

First, review your before and after plastic surgery pictures. Some patients have in mind an exaggerated concept about their rejuvenation should look. Compare your current, healed results to how you looked before surgery.

That often resolves it. Many minor touch ups can be done in the surgeon’s office.

For instance, if you have saline implants and are unhappy with the size (the number one complaint in breast augmentation surgery!) more fluid can easily be added. If your nose job has minor errors, Juvederm can be used as a filler.

If you are still unhappy, ask for a second opinion from a plastic surgeon who frequently does your procedure. For instance, perhaps you’ve had rhinoplasty and really wanted a smaller nose. But your plastic surgeon says making your nose as small as you want would compromise your breathing. All physicians are required by law, oath and ethics to act in patients’ best interests so put the question and medical records to a neutral – but qualified – third party.

The bottom line is, you are a walking ad for your surgeon’s skills. He or she wants you to look good!

• Tummy tuck
• Breast augmentation
• Liposuction
• Face lift
• Lower body lift

While the standard average rate for complications in the United States is about 1 percent, any surgical procedure carries some unplanned risks like infection, blood loss, breathing problems or edema ,a swelling and build up of fluids in bodily tissues or a body cavity.

The British are also keeping track of complications during cosmetic plastic surgery and claim that a complication rears its ugly head in one of twenty procedures.

Consequently, Lloyds of London and the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS) teamed up to offer Beautysure, a cosmetic plastic surgery insurance policy that kicks in when complications happen after surgery.

The policy covers related medical conditions but does not guarantee a second, revision surgery if the patient is unhappy with the outcome of plastic surgery.

In the United States, the patient pays for the policy, if the plastic surgeon is top rated.

Nonetheless, it can be awkward for a surgeon who just spent an hour in the first consultation with a patient showing what great results he or she provides. Just when the patient is ready to set a surgical date, the surgeon suggests buying insurance “just in case” any untoward but serious medical condition happens resulting in additional – but unplanned – expenses for treatment.

Usually, the patient’s  existing health plan won’t cover treating the cost of plastic surgery complications. But, of course, it gets more complicated because some cosmetic procedures are covered. (Read more about plastic surgery and standard health plans.)

Currently, at least two private U.S. firms offer insurance on a cosmetic plastic surgery procedure.

According to one firm which covers 17 cosmetic procedures and claims to have insured 107,000 invasive cosmetic surgeries, the top five highest, covered complications include:

• Lower body lift – 1 in 26
• Tummy tuck – 1 in 53
• Face lift -1 in 80
• Thigh lift – 1 in 95
• Breast augmentation – 1 in 114

The same insurance firm says that one of every 66 covered patients has some complication.

Bottom line: do your homework and make sure the plastic surgeon you use is board certified in plastic surgery or head and neck surgery! (Read more on finding a qualified plastic surgeon.)

Behind the scenes, Dr.  Ryan’s pride and joy was his foundation and the Bony Pony Ranch, founded to use the arts of plastic surgery – along with the great outdoors and leadership training – to help city kids and teens who had lost their way.

Basically, gang tattoos, birthmarks and scarring were removed at the ranch. Some life skills classes also helped young people better cope. (Read more about the foundation which was supported through Beverly Hills plastic surgery profits and donations.) The foundation and ranch were created back in 1994.

Better known, however, was Dr. Ryan’s star studded client list, in addition to The Hills’ Heidi Montag. That list of cosmetic surgery patients included:

• Kiss Rocker and actor Gene Simons
• Miss USA ’08 Crystal Stewart
• Miss USA ’10 Nicole Johnson
• Janice Dickson
• Shauna Sand
• Lorenzo and Shane Lamas

According to news reports, Dr. Ryan’s Jeep went over a cliff on PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) and crashed onto the rocks below. Toxicology tests won’t be available for about eight weeks but law enforcement reports indicate the doctor succumbed to massive head injuries before rescue workers could reach him. He had been hiking just before the accident.

Twitted a shocked and saddened Heidi Montag: “I am devastated to hear the news of Dr. Frank Ryan’s death. He was the most amazing person I have ever known.”

One of the ways Dr. Ryan helped the general image of plastic surgery was when the Internet was buzzing about how Heidi Montag must be addicted to plastic surgery. (Read our take on Heidi’s many plastic surgery procedures.)

Dr. Ryan’s response? He announced he would do no more procedures on Heidi because there was nothing left to improve.

Our take: Dr. Ryan may have found out that Heidi’s husband Spencer was the force behind her massive makeover. One of the basic rules for plastic surgeons is that one gets cosmetic plastic surgery to please one’s self – and no other person.

Several things happen to necks, thanks to normal aging, including:

• The Platysma muscle loosens

That muscle is actually a twin band of cords running from the collar bone to just below the chin. As patients go into their mid to late 50s, the platysma stretches, sags and starts showing through the skin. In the 60s, that area often unkindly becomes known as a “turkey gobbler neck.”

• Fat deposits gather

Fat deposits also gather in the neck and cause more skin sagging.

Plastic surgeons shorten the sagging platysma muscle so it no longer shows through the neck and liposuction away the fat that has settled, causing neck  drooping.

Five patients are hardly enough for reliable statistics, but 80 percent of neck lift patients on realself.com said the average cost of a neck lift at $5500 was worth it. (Read more about the neck lift which is often done with a face lift.)

Two plastic surgeons devised a way to make sure the cost of neck plastic surgery is well spent and lasts longer.

After giving patients a standard neck lift, Wallace Dyer II, M.D. and colleague Arvind Prabhat, M.D. installed an ear-to-ear sling under the skin to give better support to the skin, tissues and muscles of the necks of 100 neck lift patients whose average age was 54.

Writing in an issue of The Archives of Facial Plastic Surgery, a professional journal for facial plastic surgeons, the doctors then followed those patients for about three years.

The doctors were concerned about “rebound tissue relaxation.” That means they wanted to avoid the necks looking like they did before the procedure.

Results? None of the neck lift patients felt any discomfort from the slings although two had to have the slings removed because of infections. But 86 of the patients said they would recommend the procedure to a friend or relative.

Read more about the neck lift and sling in the journal article. If the scientific and technical style is too much to wade through, just check out the many before and after neck lift pictures.

Those get the point across perfectly…..and quicker!

Some meat-and-potatoes guys, what you might call real manly men in the National Football League (NFL) have discovered the joys and benefits of Lap Band surgery.

In one instance, the husky New York Jets coach Rex Ryan saw Lap Band doctors and decided to go ahead with the outpatient surgery in March, 2010.

His breaking point came when a photographer snapped a picture of his bare belly, thereby exposing his extremely rotund mid-section and 340 pound frame for the entire world to see.

Said Coach Ryan: “Whoa, that’s not a real good shot!” (The coach is pictured, before Lap Band.)

Like many Lap Band patients, Coach Ryan tried a number of weight loss schemes including a liquid diet but then gained it all back. He even considered weight loss surgery. Sound familiar?

The New York Post reported that Ryan was a little over the top with the manly meat-and-potatoes thing because he consumed a whopping 7000 calories daily, much of it contained in his favorite, Mexican food.

After the Lap Band, Coach Ryan lost 40 pounds in about three weeks.

A Lap Band wraps around the top of the stomach and drastically restricts the amount of food patients can eat.

One guy, said to be the only active NFL player with a Lap Band, 6-foot-3, 26 year old Max Jean-Gilles of the Philadelphia Eagles noticed chest pains and shortness of breath at a playing weight of 388 pounds. His Lap Band doctors want to see him at a playing weight of 320 pounds.

Sure, macho football players must be big, but not obese to do their jobs. In fact, a sports story about the Jean-Gilles Lap Band mentions at least eight NFL football players who died of obesity related diseases before turning 50.

Commented a psychiatrist: “Saying ‘I play football’ is no longer an excuse for obesity.”

Jean-Gilles saw a psychiatrist before getting the Lap Band because most insurance firms require counseling and education about the procedure so that the patient will fully understand what he or she is getting into.

Any Lap Band procedure is a lot more than just getting skinny! (Read more about the Lap Band.)

Alas, the Vampire craze has come to the world of plastic surgery in the form a new face lift and skin rejuvenation procedure, billed in some places as (really!) a Vampire Face lift (although it’s actually an injection.)

Not to worry, though, nobody is going to fly in through an open window at midnight, bite any necks or drink any blood.

Perhaps a bit more thought could have gone into name selection, but the new rejuvenation technique got its name because:

• It uses your own blood
• It promises “eternal youth”
• It’s 100 percent natural

Used in Japan for many years, the concept – there, more judiciously named Selphyl — was introduced in March, 2009, at the annual meeting of the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASPS). So it’s serious business.

Starting life as a tonic for injured athletes, the Selphyl (okay, Vampire juice, if you wish!) procedure draws your own blood (not with fangs, but a syringe!) and separates out youth-giving platelets. The platelets are then mixed with calcium chloride to produce fibrin, a vital repair substance found  naturally in your body.

Once the PRFM (platelet-rich fibrin matrix) is prepared, the cosmetic surgeon injects it to fix certain pesky facial areas including:

• Forehead wrinkles
• The wrinkled area (“the 11s”) between the eyes
• Crow’s feet
• “Drool lines” (deep folds that run from the corners of the mouth to the chin)
• Nasolabial folds (running from the corners of the nose to the corners of the mouth.)

One New York City plastic surgeon (who swears he does not wear a cape) says he repaired a huge divot in a woman’s derriere with Selphyl and made her breasts look perkier and fuller. (Check out the before and after pictures.)

According to the surgeon, the FDA-cleared Selphyl technique de-ages the skin and is equivalent to four syringes of Juvederm which would cost around $2000 and fade in six months. Plus, Selphyl has no side effects but does require a few weeks to take effect.

According to its maker, Selphyl’s effects are not permanent, but “natural and lasting.”

Nonetheless, if we went to a plastic surgeon who advertises a Vampire Face Lift, we would look around to see if the doctor sleeps in a coffin and shuns daylight!

But now, for the first time, the 40-year-old International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS) has crunched the numbers for various nations and the top rejuvenation procedures.

Top five nations doing all plastic surgery procedures for 2009 were:

1. United States
2. China
3. Brazil
4. India
5. Mexico

Plastic surgery is coming on strong is some surprising places in addition to India and Mexico. For instance, South Korea, Turkey, Spain, Taiwan, Greece and Thailand are growing by leaps and bounds every year.

The bottom five nations for cosmetic plastic surgery procedures during 2009 were:

21. Australia

22. Venezuela

23. Saudi Arabia

24. Netherlands (Holland)

25. Portugal

Top five surgical procedures worldwide are:

1. Liposuction –18.8 percent
2. Breast augmentation -17 percent
3. Upper or lower eyelift – 13.5 percent
4. Rhinoplasty – 9.4 percent
5. Tummy tuck – 7.3 percent

The top five non-surgical procedures across the globe are:

1. Botox and Dysport -  32.7 percent of the total
2. Hyaluronic acid (Juvederm, Restylane) – 20.1 percent
3. Laser hair removal -13.1 percent
4. Fat injections with the patient’s own fat – 5.9 percent
5. IP laser treatments – 4.4 percent

As in the United States during 2009, the numbers of non-surgical procedures were larger than the invasive cosmetic surgeries. (The United States showed 1.4 million plastic surgery operations while the non-invasive procedures were listed at 8.5 million, according to the ASAPS. The non-invasive figures are so large because 2.5 million Botox shots and 1.3 million Juvederm and Restylane injections are included. )

Worldwide, the ISAPS figures there will be a total of 8.5 million invasive surgeries in 2010, with an additional 8.7 non-surgical procedures done for a global total of 17,295,557 procedures.

Additionally, the ISAPS counts 30,187 board certified plastic surgeons in the world but does not take into account surgical or non-surgical procedures performed by doctors who are not plastic surgeons.

Among the timely news items you often read here first was:

• Surgery-free Liposuction Using Cold

Although the fat blasting procedure is not yet cleared by the FDA, some plastic surgeons are using a new technology to remove fatty places on the human frame with cold. It’s technically known as cryolipolysis.

The procedure is actually cleared by the FDA only for cooling the skin for an anesthetic effect. Nonetheless, some cosmetic surgeons are using the technique off label, and have commented on its use in the plastic surgery section of RealSelf.com.

(“Off label” means a drug, implant, procedure, or medical device is not being used for its original intention or the condition for which it was tested. Nonetheless, the practice is legal and allows a physician to use his or her best judgment to employ something that seems to works for him and get results for his patients.)

But back in January of 2009, readers of the CSI blog were privy to the news about cryolipolysis. (Read our original post about the new form of liposuction.)

Just how does cold remove fat from the body?

According to explanations in the professional press, a plastic surgeon presses a cold metal plate to small fatty areas; the process damages the fat cells – but not the patient’s skin. Dead fat cells are then removed from the body by normal body clearance processes so that no incision is needed.

Over time, the fatty area is reduced, leaving the treated area sleeker and more fit looking.

But the $64,000 question is: Will cryolipolysis replace standard liposuction any time soon?

Probably not.

Most cosmetic plastic surgeons already have on hand machines that remove fatty areas and remove them well. It’s known as tumescent liposuction because the surgeon first injects some medications to halt pain and make the fat easier to remove.

The cost of tumescent liposuction is:

• Reasonable
• Widely available
• Easy to perform
• Most patients tolerate it well
• Offers a long safety record.

Like in many items in life, one has to wonder, if something ain’t broke, why fix it?

Newport Beach,California, plastic surgeon  Semira Bayati, M.D. swung into action. She reduced the fracture as much as she could, used another passenger’s crutch for a splint and extra seat belts to hold it in place. Dr. Bayati also started an I.V. (Read more about the good Sam plastic surgeon.)

Actually, plastic surgeons doing humanitarian deeds is nothing new.

Currently, according to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (ISAPS), volunteers from America are rotating plastic surgeons in and out of Haiti to perform the huge number of reconstructive plastic surgery that is needed. Most weeks, 21 plastic surgeon volunteers are on hand.

It need not be a massive disaster for plastic surgeons to swing into action. Many donate without fanfare their hard-earned, vast surgical skills to many organizations including:

• Operation Smile – donates cleft lip and palate surgery
• Face to Face – treats U.S. victims of domestic abuse
• Plasticos Foundation – free plastic surgery for third world citizens
• Interplast – free reconstructive plastic surgery in poor  nations

Sometimes, medicine doesn’t have anything to do with a cosmetic plastic surgeon jumping into the fray.

Back in 2006, Robert Rey, M.D. (of Dr. 90210 fame) was on an American Airlines flight when he noticed a passenger becoming unruly, shoving a flight attendant and appearing to be heading for the cockpit.

Because Dr. Rey holds a black belt in the Korean martial art Tae Kwon Do, he gladly intercepted the passenger with the help of another man and then reverted into his role as a doctor, checking the unruly passenger’s vital signs to make sure a medical episode was not in progress.

That passenger was far luckier than a bold street tough who crept up behind Dr. Rey and wife Hayley while the couple was vacationing in New Orleans and pinched Hayley on her rear.

Dr. Rey sensed a threat as well as an insult, let his martial arts training go and put the creep on his own posterior after a flurry of hand and foot strikes.

According to the Reys, the man looked up from the sidewalk, saying “Enough! Enough!  I’m sorry!”